


despite everything, it's still you

by SideOrderOfGay



Series: Supercorptober 2020 [7]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Lillian Luthor's A+ Parenting, Obligatory quarantine fic, Supercorptober 2020 - Day 7: Yellow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26877391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SideOrderOfGay/pseuds/SideOrderOfGay
Summary: Kara finds out Lena is a natural blonde. It's hilarious, until it isn't anymore.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Supercorptober 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948081
Comments: 31
Kudos: 334





	despite everything, it's still you

Being cooped up at home while the rest of the world was trying their best to fight a worldwide pandemic was terrifying, no doubt, and even though it couldn’t harm her personally, Kara spent every day worrying about Alex and Eliza, who didn’t have the luxury of self-isolating and working from home. However, if Kara was forced to name one positive about the pandemic, it was definitely the opportunity to spoil her girlfriend for once, instead of the other way round. When even popping down to Noonan’s to get some sticky buns for breakfast was considered a risk not worth taking for many humans, Supergirl could just come in and pick up food for her girlfriend whenever she pleased – though in hindsight letting slip that she was here to pick up food for her significant other maybe wasn’t the best idea. She expected gossip columns to run wild with speculations about the identity of her secret lover. Kara shuddered. She was not looking forward to fessing up about that mistake to Lena.

But now, she was content, having Lena snuggled up in her arms, having started to fall asleep ten minutes into the rom-com Kara had put on – working from home was really messing with her sleep schedule – and idly playing with her hair. Whenever she stopped, Lena would make a disgruntled noise and move closer. Kara wasn’t even sure her girlfriend was aware she was doing it, but she’d rather swan dive into a vat filled with liquid kryptonite than stop. And this was the exact moment she saw it: There, at the root of her hair, the hair was noticeably lighter.

“Lena?”, she asked, head cocked to the side.

Lena mumbled something unintelligible and opened her eyes, blinking at her with the daze of sleep slowly clearing, which Kara took as a sign that she was listening.

“Are you getting grey hair? But no, wait, humans get grey hair in streaks, right, and not just all at once. Or is it actually possible that all your hair turns white without warning? Isn’t that, like, a thing when you’re really stressed, or did I read that somewhere? Wait, Lena, do you feel stressed? Did I not notice-“

“Kara, darling, love of my life, feel free to start making sense any second now, otherwise I’ll go back to sleep. I’ll have you know that despite being the Girl of Steel you’re a very comfortable pillow.”

“Sorry”, Kara said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. “I just saw that your hair is getting lighter, like, at the roots.”

Lena stiffened in her arms. “Oh. Well, don’t worry, with the pandemic I just haven’t been able to see my hairdresser for touching up the roots.”

She cleared her throat and turned her attention back to the television in front of them. “So, what happened while I was out?” she asked, a clear attempt at distraction. But Kara had known her for too long, and Lena had never made a secret of the fact that she didn’t care much for rom-coms much, in fact, she only tolerated them because she knew how much Kara enjoyed them. But the hero wouldn’t let her off the hook that easily.

“Wait…are you saying that you’re actually a natural blonde?”

“Kara...”, Lena sighed, but her interjection was lost in the delighted squeal Kara let out.

“So that means we can go as each other for Halloween! Just imagine, a Luthor as a Super – come on, the joke potential is right there! Wait, how fast does your hair grow – can you grow the blonde out in time for Halloween? Not that we’ll actually be able to get out, because of, y’know, everything…”

“Kara!”, Lena said, interrupting Kara’s ramble with more force this time.

“Sorry”, she apologised, still grinning at the prospect of amazing costume ideas still flashing through her mind. “I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me, think of the possibilities-“

“ _Can you just let it go?_ ”, Lena hissed. Kara recoiled as if Lena had smacked her, eyes wide in surprise. Lena cast her eyes downward, examining her fingernails intently.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you”, she murmured.

Kara sat there for a moment, dumbfounded, completely perplexed as to what brought this outburst on.

“It’s okay”, she said, eventually, scooting closer again to take Lena back into her arms, but Lena sprung up from the couch as if she’d suffocate if she couldn’t bring some distance between them. Kara held her arms out for a few confused seconds before realising how stupid she must be looking, and pulling back.

“I think I should get some more work done”, Lena croaked, not being able to hide the hoarse quality her voice had taken on at all, before turning and making her way to the guest bedroom that had served as her office for the duration of her self-isolation period as quickly as she could without running outright. She didn’t turn when Kara called after her, leaving her girlfriend alone in stunned, guilty silence.

“Stupid”, she cursed at herself. Rao, what kind of girlfriend just would just ramble on like that and not notice how much it upset her significant other? A terrible one, for sure. But she didn’t understand why Lena was so upset in the first place, but asking was off the table for now while Lena needed her space to calm down. Apologies were in order, but sitting on the couch stewing in her own thoughts wouldn’t help anyone. A trip to Lena’s favourite Parisian boulangerie however sounded exceedingly helpful.

(“Pour votre petite amie?” the baker asked, grinning mischievously, and Kara broke out in a nervous sweat as she remembered that she also had her little slip-up at Noonan’s to confess to.)

When she returned to their apartment, the door to Lena’s office was open. Still, Kara quietly knocked on the doorframe, trying to give her girlfriend ample opportunity to send her away should she need some more time on her own. No answer came, and as Kara peeked her head inside, she saw that her girlfriend’s desk was abandoned and her laptop was shut. She stood in in the middle of the doorway for a good five seconds, before the sound of the bathroom tap reached her ears. Ah, that made sense. And there she’d gone, worrying about nothing again, as if Lena needed her to be overprotective on top of insensitive today –

A choked sob, almost drowned out by the sound of running water, made her blanch. In a matter of seconds, she was at the bathroom door.

“Lena? Baby, are you okay?”

She received no answer.

“Lena, you’re worrying me, I’m coming in, okay?”

When no objections followed, she gently pushed open the door.

“Oh, baby…”

She found Lena kneeling on the floor, the sink, her hands, and a good portion of the comfy NCU-sweater she’d stolen from Kara smudged with a dark liquid that filled the entire room with a chemical smell that made Kara’s nose itch. Lena looked up at her, seeming so tiny where she was crouched on the cold marble floor, eyes swimming in tears and dark streaks on her face where she’d tried to wipe them away.

“I can’t do it”, she mumbled, “I tried but I can’t do it.”

Immediately, Kara knelt down beside her, pulling her into an embrace.

“My hands were shaking so hard and I dropped the bottle”, Lena sobbed into her shoulder.

“Lena, baby, it’s okay. It’s okay, you don’t have to dye your hair, I’m sorry if I made you feel that way”, Kara cooed, humming softly and stroking her girlfriend’s wet hair, not caring about the way it stained her hands.

“But I do!” Lena cried. “I always have.”

“You don’t have to change your appearance”, Kara whispered into her ear, gently, but without leaving any room for an argument. “Not for me, and not for anybody else.”

Lena didn’t reply, she only clutched Kara’s shoulders tighter as sobs continued to shake her body, and Kara’s string of murmured apologies didn’t let up. Eventually, Lena’s breathing returned to normal, but she made no move to disentangle herself from Kara’s embrace. Kara just waited patiently. Lena would talk to her as soon as she was ready.

“I have my mother’s hair”, Lena whispered, and suddenly, many things clicked into place.

“Lillian _hated_ it. She forced me to dye my hair and made me see a speech therapist to get rid of my accent. She said it was to create a cohesive family narrative, but I knew she hated me, I was four years old and I _knew_ the woman who was supposed to be my mother hated everything about me.”

“Oh, Lena”, Kara breathed, slowly rocking her girlfriend back and forth. “I’m so sorry I made light of something that affects you so deeply, I’m so sorry I didn’t pay attention to how you were feeling.”

“I’d almost forgotten about it until you noticed, and I _panicked_. I’ve been doing this for so long, I don’t know if I would even recognize myself in the mirror if I stopped now.”

Kara was silent for a moment, before she tentatively asked: “Would you like to try it out? See if you like it?”

Lena turned away, brow furrowed.

“Kara, you saw how I reacted when you brought attention to it. What do you think will happen when the media gets a hold of it?”

“Well, the media aren’t here, are they? We’re all in social distancing, you don’t have to see anybody if you don’t want to, and you have the perfect excuse to try new things with your hair!”

Lena let out a wet chuckle and wiped at the tear tracks on her face, leaving more black smears behind.

“Ugh, I need a shower”, she groaned, while Kara pulled her to her feet. Then, almost as an afterthought, she added: “You really wouldn’t mind?”

Kara took her in, the way she was biting her lip, fiddling with the hem of her sweater, either too exhausted or too comfortable around Kara to hide the signs of her anxiety surrounding this question.

“My opinions on it don’t matter in the slightest”, Kara said, “but if they would, I’d tell you that I love you no matter what, and any hair colour would look incredible on you. I just want you to feel comfortable, baby, that’s all that matters to me.”

Even though she didn’t say it, the relief that went through Lena was palpable, her muscles losing their tension.

“I think you need a shower too”, she purred, dragging the tip of her index finger over Kara’s collar bone, leaving a black trail in its wake.

“Oh, definitely.”

**Author's Note:**

> Brought to you by my absolute incapability to fathom the fact that Katie McGrath has light hair.


End file.
